The Chosen: Parts 1 and 2 recap

MTV's The Shannara Chronicles is a great show so I figured I'd recap it in a fun way while addressing the important stuff: how teen-speak survived the end of civilization, the continuing hotness of elven culture, and why a tree gets a starring role.

The pilot kicks off with sweeping post-apocalypse shots of derelict buildings. (Think the beginning of an episode of Grand Designs or Restoration Man.)  

Here is an overhead shot I felt implied a corporation took over the world or computers with intelligence built a futuristic ship—until I realize it's the Elven city, and maybe I've watched too much sci-fi.

Seriously, are the elves headed for space? Is this race the descendants of NASA?

A teenage girl blindfolded with her hands tied behind her back running through the forest makes me think of Twilight, except with a kidnapping vibe (or something kinkier if this was HBO). Instead we're introduced to Princess Amberle and her uncle Ander, who is helping her train for an unusual race.

Family bonding is totes different in the future.

Next day we see Amberle with her maid slash bestie approaching endless hot guys. One is her foxy boyfriend Lorin. She tells him she's racing, which apparently girls don't do. Sadly the (elven) future is not a feminist utopia. 

Amberle talks about the race. Maybe? I missed most of this conversation 'cause I was appreciating, the, um, cinematography. The really toned, reall-y fit cinematography.

It's like hot elven guys grow on trees.

The contestants race through the forest and I’m expecting to see Robert Pattinson any second. The scene is very dramatic with lots of camera shake and tripping and is really well edited and yay Amberle wins the last special place. #girlsjustwannahavefun

These extras are costumed in a weird seventies
meets medieval fair way, and I love it.

On to the star of the show, the tree called Ellcrys (I'm not making this up). Oh and the elf king. We know this because he says “as king” in case anyone misinterpreted his flat crown.

YOU DA MAN. DA KING MAN.

God now he’s giving a speech that makes me feel like I'm stuck at school assembly but really it’s just exposition. We also learn Princess Amberle is an orphan aka Storytelling 101. (Hey, as a trope it delivers.)

Amberle pats the Ellcrys and the tree sap is possibly a crazy psychotropic drug because elf girl has a hella bad trip, straight to the underworld, like when Keanu Reeve’s goes to hell in Constantine. Except turns out it is her world—albeit a future very-dead version.

 

Cut to a guy sleeping in the ice in his underwear—reminding me of my best friend who wandered around in a blizzard with no jacket the first time he saw snow in New York but that's a whole other story.

ANYHOW time to meet Wil! Unfortunately it’s like Orphan Number 2 coming right up #sadtimes His dying mum tells him to find the druid.

Apparently dream catchers survived the apocalypse.

He inherits the elf stones, aka the inanimate stars of the show. Wil’s uncle warns him against keeping the stones but is then forced to leave the episode due to being not hot and like, old. 

Amberle is sketching in the palace, hanging out in her room in a casual low-backed spaghetti strap metallic dress (elven for sweats?). She’s drawing the demons from her vision when hot elf boy Lorin comes in costumed like Ricky Martin on tour.

Newly orphaned Wil heads off to study to be a healer. #goodluckwiththat

Back in the elf city Amberle enters the post-race party where all the elves are uber-hot and well dressed. Elves are such fashionistas. #toocoolforhumanschool

Amberle teases her uncle about his love for the soldier chick and we learn boyfriend Lorin isn't really pushing her buttons.

Amberle bails on the party and visits the tree. She has a vision of herself stabbing her bf. It messes her up so much she knocks Lorin out and flees the castle.

Lots of open flames around the highly flammable Ellcrys tree.
I hope they have futuristic smoke alarms.

Meanwhile Wil’s cruising around on his horse like a medieval skater guy, what with the fingerless gloves, beanie, and hoodie. Not to mention a hella hot studded leather jacket. 

He’s attacked by what turns out to be a troll and is saved by rover teen Eretria, who looks like she was searching for the Disney channel and accidentally wandered onto MTV.

Mad Max fan in a past life.

Back at elf headquarters, Amberle's uncle gives Lorin a hard time, and the tree is declared ill.  #nottheflu In the midst of this, the druid rocks up at court with an entrance that is Jedi-level cool. (Sneaking suspicion the druid has been in LA: he hasn't aged in 30 years.) Best bit? Amberle's party-uncle's face when he hears what Allanon is:

Will flirts with teen angst rover girl Eretria and she convinces him to strip and have a bath, then drugs and robs him. #futuredatingsuckswhenyoucantgooglethemfirst

Allanon runs a quick Demon 101 workshop for the elves. One fallen leaf=one free demon. The creepy tree starts bleeding like a person, freaking me out. A leaf falls, and we're whisked to Demon Land.

Back at the cute pod treehouse Wil wakes up still with his kidney (woohoo). Allanon is there and teases him for being played by a pretty face before following up with a hard sell of magic. #theoldonetwo I don't remember much else because Wil is distractingly pretty.

Back to Demon Land and we see the grossest makeout session. A demon lady is sent off to kill The Chosen.

Can you say "cosplay"?

Out in the forest Amberle crosses paths with chip-on-her-shoulder rover girl, who tries to drug and rob her. Turns out Amberle doesn't swing that way cause rover girl's moves do nothing for her. We get racist comments on both sides and after a Mean Girls scene, Amberle bails.

Allanon and Wil cross the desert on horseback a la Lawrence of Arabia and head into a temple.

At (elf) home, Amberle’s party-uncle and the elf king (also her grandfather btw) check out her goth sketches.

In the temple Wil tries to ditch the druid but weird stuff starts happening. He’s having a “I wanna go to healer college not take over the family business” moment when the room Harry Potter's out, pages flying around.

The runes on Allanon’s neck flash, and I got scared thinking I was watching Shadowhunters again (terrible pilot) but Shannara was still on. #closecall

A steampunk-y book comes out of the wall and Wil’s face is all WTF magic is real. The book is a codex #codexsarecool The audience learns the demon enemy is really a druid gone rogue as the druids speak in a different language and the subtitles are really fast.

Left by the Illuminati for sure.

In Arbolon (the elf city) Lorin is hanging out with the tree when Amberle rocks up, except it’s evil demon chick in disguise, and hello, Lorin kebab. Proving you both can, and cannot, trust what you see in an acid, sorry Ellcrys, trip. Goodbye pretty elf boy x

The royals, druid, and Wil visit The Chosen elves and wow that’s a lot of corpses and more sticky corn syrup fake blood than a Supernatural episode. All the Chosen are dead—except for Amberle.

We have a bit of storytelling about the tree and how the evil druid won’t be free till the last leaf falls. Translation: demons galore for the rest of the season.

Quick interlude of loser power-hungry elf son back at Arbolon deciding the best way to get the throne from your pa is to insult the dude and then ask for it. #daddyissues

Wil and Allanon exposition a bit more in an elven hallway drowning in shrubbery, explaining away any plotholes. What is with the greenery? Elves have a serious indoor plant obsession. Allanon asks Wil to go creepster and search Amberle’s room for clues.

Amberle wakes up at her aunt's place on the beach. When she asks Pyria for help, her aunt assumes she’s knocked up (kind of hilarious).

Less fun is seeing poor rover girl being assaulted and harassed by her dad, which sucks. She offers the elf stones.

The price of post apocalyptic emancipation.

Back to the Ellcrys. The tree room has been redecorated with what looks like avant garde coffee tables except they're coffins and that's not relaxing. 

Wil admits to searching Amberle’s room but you know, in a GOOD way. We learn Pyria is Amberle’s aunt and get a bit of backstory about her doomed love for Allanon. #druidsareplayers

Rover girl negotiates with her really bad form father who promises not to marry her off if she finds Wil again. She ups the ante and asks for her freedom instead.

While crossing the land in a future version of the greatest race to find Amberle, Wil and the druid chitchat about Allanon’s old romance, and Wil's dad who went crazy from using magic.

Chillin' with a druid—turns out, not so chill.

“So I’m supposed to use elf stones I don't have to protect a princess who doesn’t want to be found from a demon horde bent on laying waste to the world and even if I succeed which is entirely doubtful my life could still be doomed because magic will have fried my brain? ...I liked it better when we didn’t talk."

At the beach Allanon meets his now-old love and explains cutting out on her as a "druid sleep" #awkward This scene is bittersweet, especially since Aunt Pyria can’t be long for this world (slash show), what with being old.

Heart this shot.

Then we see another demon released yuucckkk this one flies.

Wil finds Amberle bathing in a waterfall, naked (but thanks to a well-placed blur by MTV it's not dodgy). Wil explains a tad of what's happening. Already the chemistry is obvious and shippers around the world begin working on a couple name (Wilberle? Amberwil?).

Why is Amberle wearing a corset? They restrict
movement and you can't hide weapons in them. #elvesandtheirimpracticalwardrobes

Back on the beach Allanon tells Pyria how much she still means to him, signing the character's death warrant—in tv land a hot stud getting it on with an older woman is illegal. #sayonarapyria

That's not a bird, it sure can't be a plane, and this isn't the CW, so...

After the Fury mangles the elderly cast member, it knocks out Allanon and heads for Amberle. Wil promptly shoves the princess behind him which is a chivalrous awww moment seeing as the most he's probably ever done with a knife, is take on a potato.

Wil=sweetas

What an ending! The two-parter starter was epic fun, beautifully shot, with great characters. See you for the next episode where hopefully our heroes won't get shredded—in a non-gym way.

xx