Changeling, episode 4 recap

When we catch up with the gang again Amberle is being tested by the crazy tree, which will kill her and doom the world if she fails. #nopressure The tree blooms a single flower before spitting in Amberle's face. Nice. Amberle is transported to a wasteland full of corpses. (Note: Not eating dinner this time. #lessonlearned)

Dead Lorin is there, and he’s pissed, accusing Amberle of never loving him and having serious feels for Wil—before transforming into Dark Wil. We know he’s dark 'cause he has a man bun and everyone knows they’re evil. Wil taunts her, attacking until she stabs him a la Buffy.

Fake Wil says don’t let anything distract you—not fear, not love which is crappy. Love can empower people. But you can't argue philosophy with a tree. Then we get a crazy series of abstract flashes, and surprise! Eretria is in them too.

Scoring the weirdly-cyber-slash-steampunk looking seed, Amberle exits the tree (don’t ask) and shows everyone her spoils.

Apparently the tree is coming back part-Terminator.
#canneverbetoosafe

Amberle gives Wil a weiiirrrddd look as she leaves the room and he’s like wth you were holding my hand minutes ago.

The demon in the palace reports telepathically to her master about Amberle and he’s all, who cares KILL HER ALREADY. She gets busted by an elf and slices him up in a fugly way. #swordthroughtheface

One of these elves is not like the other.

Amberle sketches the stain glass from her vision, and then Prince Douche takes a moment to diss Allanon with some anti-human paranoia. Everyone ignores him because he is a dick. Party-uncle says he knows a guy who knows beyond-the-border stuff. #hookedup

The king sends word to summon the descendant of Bear Grylls, and announces soldier Crispin will escort them to meet this dude because hello, we def need another young, good-looking elf. #whatiswiththisplace Meanwhile Allanon reminds everyone there is a traitor in the city.

Budding romance on the rocks, thanks to a TREE.
(There's a sentence you don't see every day.)

Amberle bails to avoid Wil, who is like girlfriend what is UP? She freaks and tells him she doesn’t need his emotions getting in the way of what they have to do. Ouch. #sickburn

Back to the rovers. (When will this storyline go away?). Eretria’s dad is making her sneak into the castle to get the stones, which is ridiculous. The elves aren't chill when it comes to security, but whatevs.

We cut to Amberle’s bestie—who doesn’t get enough screen time—and Amberle tells her some of what happened in the tree, omitting the Wil stuff. They're very touchy-feely. #elvesarehuggers 

On The 100 this scene would
probably have a very different ending.

Commander Tilton is called to the sanctuary and we all get to see the corpse again. #ickickyuck

Amberle's open-mouthed OMG face is better than Spencer,
Hanna, and Aria efforts... but Emily remains the Homecoming Queen of shock.

Cut to Bandon in the forest. Wil chats 'cause he’s a nice guy, but when he reaches for Bandon’s injured wrists the guy freaks, admitting he sees death when people touch him. Harsh.

Struck by inspiration, Wil shows him the sketch. Bandon says it's the room where Amberle and a human girl die. This is heavy, but I'm distracted by the elven version of public art in the background, and their love of open fire in flammable locations. 

Seriously, forests are not flame retardant.

Meanwhile Eretria breaks into the city, no probs. Am guessing the ridiculous amount of plants are to blame: they must need hella fresh air and sunlight. She follows Wil to his room, and yeah, still not a fan (sorry).

Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?

Next up is a scene from an ugly family Christmas. Prince Loser loses his MIND when dad-king tells him he can’t have the throne. Another references to the supercool dead brother. Luckily, Party Uncle interrupts. (Awesome acting all-round.)

Eretria seduces Wil with this weird mix of truth and lies. I don’t think Eretria is sure if she’s lying or telling Will the truth—or if she intended to? #kidsgotissues

Amberle/Wil shippers were unhappy about this scene, but come on. Wil is an emotional mess: Amberle kicked him to the curb, his mum is dead, and he has no one and nothing (emotionally I mean) in the city. Sensing his vulnerability, Eretria exploits the opportunity. But it takes two to tango, and Farm Boy, you are sooo gonna regret this…

This image is here for extremely important plot-related
reasons that I'm sure I'll remember soon.

While Eretria and Will are busy gettin' busy, Allanon and Amberle argue about the demon in the city. Wil wakes up to a (not-at-all) shocking discovery: he got played and Eretria took the stones again. So stupid. And seriously hard to forgive. Like yeah, have sex, but don’t take your eyes off the ball, sorry, elf stones Wil! #tooeasy 

In one of my fave scenes of the episode, Bandon bumps into Amberlie's bestie Catania, and sees her death upstairs. She gets freaked and runs upstairs (not a good call), with Bandon chasing her.

Meanwhile Amberle spots Eretria, and chases her, but as the rover girl runs past a guard, the guard turns out to be the shadow demon shapeshifter who transforms into Eretria and tries to kill Amberle just as Catania comes around the corner (hence her murder that Bandon "saw"). 

Bandon jumps on the assassin and stops her, saving the actress who plays Catania from only appearing in flashbacks and visions for the rest of the series. #truehero

I don't think this is lens flare.

IT'S NON-STOP ACTION PEOPLE.

This is shot cool, with some slow-mo, and spinning,
and crashing, and edits from changing angles. #goteam

At the same time the real Eretria is making her escape only to be stopped by Amberle's uncle. After beating him up, she's knocked out by Commander Tilton. Eretria is dragged into the throne room and thanks to her less than sunny personality, manages to make friends with no one. 

They charge Eretria with murder, and rover girl's all W-T-F??  Wil enters to announce she stole the stones too. Before she's dragged away, Eretria tries to convince him she didn't attempt to murder anyone.

In a touching family moment, the king gives Amberle the sword her father used when he was alive and practices some positive reinforcement. #granddaddysgotyourback

Awww.

While Amberle packs what I'm guessing is a never-ending array of battle-inappropriate corsets, Wil and Allanon discuss the fact Eretria might not be the murderer. Wil LIES, claiming Eretria attacked him. (Don't need to be a seer to know this is gonna come back and bite him.) 

Allanon points out eyes can be tricked. Wil warns Amberle she’s letting her hate for Eretria get in the way. (Also the look on Amberle's face whenever anyone mentions Eretria is priceless.)

We also score this great conversation...

Wil: If you have doubts that Eretria did it why didn’t you tell her?

Allanon: For the same reason you didn’t tell her you slept with the rover girl.

#salty Allanon confides in Wil that if the demon is in the palace and thinks their guard is down, it might try again. Wil says Bandon could help and Allanon realizes the kid is a seer. 

Cut to an elven coffin that I still think looks like a trendy coffee table. (Side note: Are they ever planning on burying these people?) Allanon tells Bandon he totes gets the seer thing, his mentor was one. Apparently it’s The Force all over again and involves “walking a perilous ledge between darkness and light”. He wants Bandon to check out Lorin's death.

Amberle becomes incredibly lame and insists the Chosen should be left in peace. Which is straight up ridiculous, considering the world is ending and Bandon’s not going to zombify them. #getittogethergirlfriend

The guy playing Lorin proves he could play a corpse on a procedural. We get to see a flashback seer vision to when demon-in-Amberle form killed Lorin and Allanon’s all sheeeet, it’s a changeling.

 Cut to the throne room (or exposition room, as we should start calling it). Wil suggests using Eretria as a decoy. Cold, man. #loverstiff

They visit her in the pretty elf prison, and Eretria is as friendly as ever. Amberle mentions the story about Wil being assaulted and Eretria goes for the throat, telling Amberle they slept together #biatch. At this point I kind of want the Changeling to eat her.

Next we see Eretria wandering through the castle pretending to be Amberle. While being all decoy-esque, she points out Amberle wasn't happy to hear about them. Wil rightly points out there is no us, and Eretria is cut, proving how emotionally dysfunctional this kid is. She slayed Wil, but then she robbed him AND ruined a friendship purely out of spite. #noseconddate

After claiming Wil seduced her (wtf) she lashes out with, Well I guess you’re really out of luck now. That princess won’t want a rover’s sloppy seconds. #thisgirlisawful

Commander Tilton saves us from the teen speak and hormone drama by revealing the body of a Black Watch guard has been found. Wil realizes the demon is in on the plan, and runs to tell Amberle.

Cut to Wil in the forest, and he runs inside yelling for the elf princess. She’s all, what’s the haps? Next his voice goes Darth Vader and he tries to kill her.

Allanon murders fake-Wil, and then real Wil rocks up and sees himself dead. #therapymuch Allanon tells them to burn the demon corpse and lock up the ashes.

Eretria tries to leave, and gets mad when Amberle's like, no way, back to prison for you. (I'm kind of with Amberle on this one.) 

Allanon intercedes, pointing out Eretria was in Amberle's vision. He says she needs to start trusting the Ellcrys, which considering the trees rep—NO WAY. 

Allanon follows up with the most non-logical line of the episode, making me wonder what he’s been smoking: if The Dagda Mor sends more demons we must be ready for them here. The entire time the demons have been after Amberle, and still are, so assuming they'll go to the elf palace instead of chasing her is weird. 

The back-up argument is Allanon wasn't in the vision. He can't go cause the tree says so. #pffft.

When Eretria asks, What the hell is the Ellcrys? (Girl, you do NOT wanna know), Amberle responds with, loverboy can fill you in proving this roadtrip is gonna suck.

Oh look, Daddy Dearest is watching Rover Girl from the trees. That's not creepy af. 

And finally, the Changeling rises up from his unlit pyre and kills the elven guard, proving you should never trust the advice of a druid who's had too much Ellcrys bark. #justsayin

That was fun. Till next time xx

Fury, episode 3 recap

We catch up with our heroes again as they face down a Fury, which has freaky teeth like a killer Amazonian fish. Instead of impressing us with their fighting skills, Wil and Amberle manage to fall over #warriorfail 

Luckily Druid Dude rocks up to hack off a wing and chop off a head. Gross.

idk if these two crazy kids can save the world?
Their battlefield body language screams FML.

Then there are the opening credits, which are quite gorgeous and deserve a shout out.

#tightgraphicsforthewin

Our three survivors are about to head off when elf princess Amberle demands some backstory, sorry, details. On learning of her boyfriend’s death last ep, she sits on a rock and cries by the sea, like a classic poem #howveryelvenofher Wil threatens to report Allanon to Human Resources for his lack of empathy toward a grieving co-worker. (Not really, but it would totes happen if this weren't a post apocalyptic setting.)

Wil shares how his mom’s death made him feel with Amberle. They bond. This scene is sweet and sad; makes me wish these two had a less death-infused meet cute.

Amberle thanks Wil for saving her life (so polite) and says she caused the tree's sickness by being the first girl to run in the race. Hopefully not true—as a plot point THAT WOULD SUCK. Implying feminism could end the world? No way.

Allanon collapses from an injury and asks them to take him to the druid cave (pointing to a massive area of land on the map that made me go, okay, that's like pointing to an entire state, and someone finding your house.)

Allanon climbs onto the druid table altar thing and Wil suggests “sutures” instead of stitches. How very nineteenth century of him.

Aslan's on his way, right?

Back in the elf city, party-uncle Ander is getting wasted while the king fills him in on recent demon attacks. Ander is like, I bet you wish I’d died and not my bro BACKSTORY ALERT, Amberle’s super-cool dad was the elf version of homecoming king and captain of the football team and the guy who got into Harvard rolled into one epic dude. The elf king doesn't even say hey, I'm cool with you not being dead, which is kind of cold. #canyouspelldysfunctional

Wil and Amberle head for the river to get magic mud 'cause that’s Wil's level of healing skills. (He aint no Zoe Hart.)

On the walk Wil reveals his Shannara bloodline status to Amberle and she goes all fan girl. Kind of how anyone would when meeting Lily-Rose.

OMG your dad is Johnny Depp?!

Wil strips and nobody’s complaining (especially elf girl). While he’s getting mud the annoying Eretria rocks up and takes Amberle prisoner.

Totally meant to post a shot of Eretria, I swear.

At rover camp, Wil is tied to a pole and Eretria is insulted by her crappy dad, who is shady af and trying to be super-chummy with Wil.

Frankly I’m not feeling the love for the rover storyline. QUEST ALREADY.

Being sane, Wil isn't hyped at the idea of joining the ethically dodgy and violent rovers. Eretria gets mad at her dad Cephalo for wanting her to kill Amberle. This father-daughter dynamic is so unhealthy it’s icky to watch. We're reminded Daddy dearest reall-y wants the elf stones.

Must have my preciousssss...

Flash over to Allanon recovering in a way that does not line up with my memories of post-surgery.

Somebody get Mulder on the line.

Amberle wakes up in the rover camp and has words with Eretria, who surprises the audience by telling Amberle to run. Unfortunately her interpersonal skills are pretty crappy and Amberle doesn’t take up the offer, refusing to leave without new bestie Wil.

Amberle gets the drop on Eretria, and I'm calling it: knife-to-the-throat is the elf princess' signature move. When Amberle emerges from the tent threatening to slice 'n dice rover girl, her douche dad doesn’t really care, in front of everyone, which is awful.

Eretria and Amberle fight till Wil stops them. He's trying to convince everyone he has no idea how the hell to use the goddamn plastic-looking stones, when another Fury rocks up.

The Half-Elf Who Could

Wil, in desperation, protects Amberle and Eretria by using the stones and MAGIC IS AWESOME.

#deepfriedFury

Unfortunately Wil is left unconscious #partiedtoohard Evil Rover Dad comes into the tent and tries to get the stones, nearly strangling Amberle. Luckily Allanon saves the day, rocking up just in time. High five for the druid!

Continuing with the theme of vague medicine, Allanon waves a lit stick under Wil's nose (I'm not convinced this isn't the future, cooler version of smelling salts) and gets deep and existential, saying Wil is out cold because he can’t reconcile who he is with who he is meant to be.

This guy knows how to light up. (Get it?)

There is a lot of talk about destiny and yeah if Allanon had a Kindle it'd be all Sartre, and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and stuff. Wil wakes up and they cruise off again.

Things get gory when they find a massacre scene at an elf village (animal carcass close-up while I'm eating dinner, thanks for that). Oh, look, now a close-up of a mutilated hand and why did I choose to have lasagna?

Wil pukes (I’m with you Wil), and hears a noise in the barn.

I'm going to go with Door Number Three.

Another hot elf. Why am I not surprised?

When bondage goes horribly wrong.

We meet Bandon who says his folks locked him in the cellar. (What is with the parenting on this show? It’s like Lily and Rufus all over again.) The crew argue about taking Bandon with them but Amberle isn’t leaving him with a heap of corpses. You go girl.

Back at rover camp, Eretria's planning to cut out but daddy dearest catches her. He carries on again about finding the elf stones. (Seriously kid, just bolt.)

At the elf city Bandon's wandering through the elf halls, probably wondering as I did wtf is up with all the plants, when Amberle touches him and we get to see a future-flash of a very-dead Amberle.

While that's legit terrible, Wil is now wearing his hair up.

Can somebody poll hair up versus hair down?
#focusingontheimportantthings

Uncle Ander and Amberle reunite. We learn Amberle has to face The Elven Council who already sound annoying. Wil tries for logic over politics, but Allanon says she has to face the judge/jury/executioner/council. Amberle expects Wil to come and back her up, but he’s all, oh man I am sooooo bailing this scene.

Wil gives Allanon the stones and the vibe is GTFO I aint comin’ back.

But you're my wingman Wil.

Wil bumps into Bandon (who now has foxy fingerless leather gloves too) and Bandon convinces Wil Amberle needs him. I really like Bandon and his visions.

Worth mentioning—Amberle is working some fab asymmetrical fashion, kind of princess meets warrior in one ensemble. Not so much the Council.

These costumes are left over from the three Star Wars movies we
try not to talk about, aren't they?

Amberle breaks the news about her aunt’s death. The king looks stunned, as this makes him pretty much the only (speaking-part) oldie left on set. #youhangintheregrandpa

We learn the Ellcrys will bear a seed that has to be carried by one of the Chosen to Safehold, immersed in the blood fire and returned, so the Ellcrys can be reformed. That crazy tree.

Allanon points out Amberle is the winner of the comp by virtue of being the only not-dead one. #trophyforparticipation Douche prince starts ranting and wanting to point the finger at other races. #donaldtrumpdescendant He then insults Amberle.  Dafaq uncle Arion.

Wil is back! Prince Loser tries to have Wil ejected—this guy sucks—but Allanon steps in:

“By elven law you are not to lay a hand on a member of the royal family… he is the last son of Shannara.” Way to drop a truth bomb druid man. So dramatic.

Wil gives a heartfelt pro-Amberle ramble that’s cute and sweet and we all start shipping them in earnest. Allanon gives the stones back to Wil, and the council votes for Amberle to fulfill her duty slash destiny. Woohoo!

Except not so much. Now there is another test for Amberle. (This tree is ridiculously high-maintenance.) We know things are heavy because the elf king has put his flat crown back on.

Look at my crown. Shit is getting SERIOUS.

Wil and Amberle are cosy. Wayyyy too cosy for this early in the season—I sense narrative love obstacles in their future.

Watch out Amberwil: the Gods of Television
 won't let an end game couple hook up so soon. 

This tree has an actual door in it, which is weird, but frankly this tree has been a weirdo from day one.

If the door is made from carved wood isn't that like
attaching a tree corpse to a living tree? #stopthinkingsomuch

Amberle disappears inside the Ellcrys… and we have to wait for the next episode to see what mean, messed up mind games this hella crazy tree will pull on our elf princess. 

I think my fave part so far is the fact Amberle and Wil are such nice peeps. I really want their quest to succeed #officiallyinvested

Till next time!

xx